3 Things You Must Do If You Really Want To Love Yourself
When is the last time you took time for yourself, without feeling guilty or as though you were indulging? The last time you truly enjoyed and melted into those moments. Moments where you were just happy doing something (anything), for you.
Did a time come right to mind or are you still thinking? Sometimes we think if we aren’t doing, creating, working then we aren’t doing enough. What if when you were just “being” and caring for your self - you were actually doing something better than you could imagine!? Enter, self-care!
You know that feeling when you get your favorite cup of coffee and you feel amazing for the morning? Or when you have a long conversation with someone you really connect with? It’s as though you are on cloud 9. You have so much clarity, you find yourself smiling at strangers, maybe even skipping! You feel inspired, calm, happy. This, in its truest and most organic form, is self-care.
Taking the time to do things that make you feel good. Imagine if you felt that a little bit each and every day, how your life would change. You might be more productive, be more present, and feel better. How do we get there?
1) Let Go Of The Guilt
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt bad for doing something you enjoy. “But I should be *insert to-do list here*”. I hear the phrase “guilty pleasures” thrown around so often! The way I look at it is like this: why should we feel guilty to have something that brings us happiness!? As long as it’s not against the law, hurting others (or yourself) or causing harm.
During this one little life you get (that goes by in an instant) why should you feel guilty for enjoying something?! For taking a bath at 1 PM on your day off? For having that extra piece of chocolate?! For randomly booking that trip to Mexico with the money you’ve been saving?!
If it’s something you enjoy, why wouldn’t you do it? Ask yourself, what is stopping you? Is it fear of judgment, is it being “irresponsible”, or is it because you’re too busy. When we prioritize the things that make us feel good, we, in turn, feel good! It truly is so simple.
If you have ever wondered why you aren’t feeling well, why your days seem to last forever, why everyone around you is just so bored. SO many clients and people I know feel this same way. Why?
How can we feel good if we are filling our days with things we don’t like. People and experiences that annoy us, a job that bores us, meanwhile all the things we love feel impossible to do because, at the end of the day, we have no time for them.
As one of my favorite authors, Jen Sincero said perfectly, “We’re all busy—it's the people who make enjoying their lives a priority who, um, enjoy their lives.”
Put yourself in your future 85-year-old selves mind. With your grey hair thinking back on your life. Would you really be guilty of eating that extra piece of cake or for booking that trip? I say no way, you will be telling that story in your rocking chair!
2) Actually ENJOY what you’re doing, while you’re doing it.
Your soul is waiting to be cared for, to be listened to, to thrive. If you’re not truly living for yourself, after a while your body, mind, and spirit will feel it. Months and years will go by and suddenly you will have lost the luster for life.
Maybe you’re there now. Bored with all that surrounds you, wondering what your next move should be. If you aren’t doing the things that make you feel good, feel alive, then you’re depriving yourself. Which is the opposite of self-care and ultimately, self-love!
When we feel good, prioritize our happiness and health we are ultimately caring for ourselves. This gives us energy and more feel-good endorphins to then go and do more for ourselves and others, or family, our job - whatever it is!
So when you’re debating if you should get ahead on the work for next month or finally get out for the walk at the beach you’ve wanted to take for weeks, I say listen to your soul. You can never go wrong because it already has the answers. What is it telling you?
It has to be telling you something, I promise! If you can’t think of what you would love to do that you haven’t done in forever, try this exercise. What is something that you’ve seen while scrolling on social media that made you think:
“Ugh, I wish I could do that! She is so *insert excuse as to why someone else got to do it and you didn’t*”
Think back to these moments you’ve had, as I know everyone has had them in our comparison filled society. Was it a trip? Was it the late-night ride to the beach? What was the last thing that made you think - “I want to do that!”.
Today, tomorrow, this week I challenge you to go do something- anything! But, don’t just do it, be all in. Leave your phone on silent, don’t get sucked into social media before you go, don’t let the dishes distract you from what your heart is aching to do. Just do it.
Going swimming? Bring your favorite bathing suit, jump in, feel the water on your skin, try a cannonball for old times sake! Going to the beach? Feel the hot sand in between your toes, listen to the seagulls above. Whatever you’re doing, indulge in each part of it and soak it all in.
3) Notice how you feel right after and for the rest of the day.
We feel throughout our days, but we often don’t notice because we are rushing from one thing to the next. So when you challenge yourself to finally do something that ignites your soul, honor yourself after too. Honor yourself enough to notice how you feel so that you remember that feeling and want to do it again.
How do you truly feel after you do the things you enjoy? The thing that makes you feel like a kid again, forgetting what time it is. Maybe you feel energized after finally taking that run. Maybe you feel excited for finally booking the ticket. Whatever that feeling is, notice it. Really, pay attention even if it isn’t blatantly obvious! Our feelings are a huge indicator of what we are missing and what we are needing.
Another amazing way to notice how you’re feeling is to connect with a trusted friend after and rave about it! Conversations are a catalyst for us to think deeper and when we voice things out loud, we often can discover even more about them. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing, just write it in a journal or the notes on your phone, either way, get it out!
We want to keep that feeling alive and if we rush to the next thing, we won’t remember just how great it truly was! If we make it easy for ourselves to feel how good that “self-care” moment was, it will be even easier to take the time to do it again.
Self-care doesn’t have to just be a spa day or a bubble bath, it can be whatever you want it to be. The important part is just loving yourself, which starts with prioritizing yourself, letting go of guilt, and enjoying.
